I’m sitting here on my couch watching YouTube videos after coming back from an interview with a job agency this morning. Once again, it wasn’t positive in the sense that I would walk out with a job. I don’t feel as discouraged as I did in the beginning. Now I take each rejection or “we like you, but this isn’t the best fit” or even no response in stride and move on to the next.
I’ve been kicking myself in the butt for not taking advantage of all of my opportunities to ensure that I would have already applied and been accepted to a medical school. My best friend said it best “you’re hella smart, but you’re hella lazy”. Ain’t that the truth! as much as I wish it wasn’t.
Sometimes thoughts of regrets float through my mind, and I contemplate all the opportunities, academic, career or life wise, I may have missed. It sucks. But I’m growing into becoming a “bawse” so I allow myself a moment of regret or sadness, then I get my shit together and figure out how to use that emotion and energy for good. I haven’t figured out the secret to success and energy flipping, but i’m on a journey to discover what it is to me.
It’s good to be practical and realistic, so here are the facts:
- I finished my biology degree early in December
- I have applied to jobs ranging from retail to medical and laboratory assistant
- I worked at target for a month and kohls for 2 days, but quit. It just wasn’t for me.
- I am still applying for jobs.
- Feelings of doubt are starting to rear their heads.
- I hate living with my parents and not being able to contribute.
- I miss university and structured learning. I love learning in general.
I know this has a somber tone, but
I had to jot my thoughts down to air them out before they consume me. To air them out before they become me. To air them out so I may be free.
I believe that God has brought me through so much in my short life, so I will continue to be patient and diligent. Some days I feel broken, but then I remember I’m not alone in this and I have accomplished so much already to feel broken.
If you’re currently unemployed, broken or disappointed in thyself, trust in the process, rise from the pain and use the energy to fuel your success!